The Top 10ish Classic Betch Movies
10 Things I Hate About You
Between Heath Ledger's debut as the hottest dirty bro to share a screen with Alex Mack and the title about hating people, 10 Things was a hallmark of its time. A time when Julia Stiles and Alex Mack were allowed in movies. Not to mention that upon mere thought of this movie we immediately want to start singing I LOVE YOU BAABAY.
The Devil Wears Prada
Yes, we are indeed aware that it stars Anne Hathaway so how could it be betchy? Obviously, it’s because Anne is literally getting shit on for 90% of this movie and then when she finally gets in good graces with mega betch Miranda Priestly, she reverts to her nicegirl ways and fucking quits. Color me surprised. That's all.
Bring It On
Even if you would never be caught dead in a cheerleading uniform, betches nationwide have always loved this perky film. I mean the fact that they had a rivalry with the ghetto Compton girls in combination with T-t-t-Torrence (you're captain Torrence) dating male cheerleader Aaron, the definition of the MGB, this movie demands more respect than the fucking spirit stick.
The Parent Trap
God I bet if Linzlo could go back in time to when she starred in this masterpiece, she would do a few things differently no? Hallie and Annie were definitely two of our idols during our betch in training days. And don’t even try to tell me you and your besties didn’t memorize the handshake that Hallie and her butler Martin did together. Remember, it's never too late to turn to someone who shoved you in the bathroom line and throw down with “I have class and you don’t.”
The Hot Chick
This underrated gem is a fucking betch classic and to this day it has many a quotable scene. Not to mention it casually stars Regina fucking George and that hot guy from Boy Meets World. Ling Ling, you forgot yo bling bling!!!
Have you ever wondered if there was more to life than being really, really ridiculously good-looking? Us either.
On the surface it's about a group of vaguely religious prep school kids with old people names like Cecile, Annette, Sebastian and Kathryn. Half of them are virgins and only half of them can drive. Sounds mis, we know. Turns out it was the most amazingly scandalous movie of its time.
A movie about four popular bitches that are mean to people and wind up killing each other? Sign us up. Winona Ryder becomes a friend of the fuglies (including Christian Slater) in this dark comedy about teen suicide as the trendiest thing around. Sure it's sort of fucking scary to think that your best frenemy might be poisoning your hangover remedy but The Heathers teach us valuable lessons like don't have sex with the school sociopath and beware of groups of besties where everyone has the same name.
Like Tina Fey before her, K-Wiig decided to ditch SNL and make one of the best movies of all time. I mean before Bridesmaids we enjoyed Kristen playing Target Lady and Gilly, but we had no idea the scope of her genius. Also, we owe this cinematic brilliance even more for introducing us to the amazzz Rebel Wilson and her Mexican drinking worm.
“Oh, I like your outfit too, except when I dress up as a frigid bitch, I try not to look so constipated.”
We really don’t have to say anything about Clueless except thank you. Cher Horowitz has taught us more than any fucking feminist lit professor ever did and where on earth would we be today if we couldn’t roll down the window to scream at the fat bitch who cut us off “you're a virgin who can't drive!!”
At this point, words can no longer suffice in terms of expressing all that Mean Girls has done for us. Betches are forever indebted to this Holy Grail of wisdom and it will never be topped. Oh and also, Tina Fey just said that she’s making a Broadway musical out of it so finally a play that we won’t be embarrassed to be seen at.
Honorable Mention: She's the Man
In this movie, Amanda Bynes got joined the ranks of Amanda Seyfried and Rachel McAdams and share the stage with Channing Tatum who yet again plays a big stupid hot oaf, this time named Duke. And yeah this is a Shakespeare remake so you know it makes you like classy and shit if you know that. So what if Mandy dresses up like a man so she can prove she's good at soccer? She still looked way hotter than she did in Easy A and that's all that really matters.