The List For Hipster Baby Names Is Out And It’s As Bad As You Imagined
Disclaimer: No offense was intended in the making of this post.
Are you a hipster? Do you want your baby to be a hipster? Do you dream of a life filled with babies in overalls and beanies smoking hand-rolleds and pooing in organic diapers?
Well, Fit Pregnancy has come out with the list of hispter baby names that are guaranteed to make your kid stand out as the ultimate douchebag.
Or, as they put it:
That’s right, guys, they’ve got everything from Brooklyn to Milo to Pandora.
They’ve given you the best list of the edgiest names and there’s no possible way your child will grow up without a chip on his shoulder and affinity for Wes Anderson films.
If you ask me, giving out hipster baby names defeats the entire philosophy of the “hipster.” A true hipster would come up with a completely unheard of name.
To make sure your son is most definitely bi-curious…
He’s the highest ranked douche you know.
You mean echo? Because that’s cooler.
If he’s short, you may as well just kill him now.
What are his friends going to call him? Igna? Think about it…
Yep, your son should definitely try and live up to that one…
It’s like vintage, right?
Like De Niro? But edgier…
More like organ boy, Orpheus and orgy lover.
Maybe he could pull it off if he looks European… and plays soccer.
Why don’t you just name him Holden? Or Caulfield? That’s even edgier.
Like that One Direction girl? That’s original.